Stompiní Tom Connors

Ballad of Muk Tuk Annie

Stompiní Tom Connors

1: "Yeah, let me tell you the story about Muk Tuk Annie, who came south to go to school.
With a see-through blouse and seal-skin mini, ole' Annie sure looked cool!
She flew into Montreal,
In the early Fall,
Like nothin' they'd ever seen!
With long, black hair,
And Reindeer underwear,
She weighed about 216!!

She came a long, long, wa-ay,
From Frobisher Bay!
People, don't you know now what I mean.
She had the boys all cryin'
On the Distant Early Warning Line,
Ole' Muk Tuk Annie could really make the scene!


2: Well, she told her teacher that she wanted to dance;
Said she wanted to study Ballet.
But she was 4 foot 6 with her mukluks off
And I heard her teacher say:
"Now, I ain't sayin', Annie, that you can't dance;
No, I wouldn't want to tell you that!
But, I got a form here, signed in triplicate,
Says you got to learn to drive a Cat!"
She says," I don't want to learn to cook or sew;
Build boats or drive no Cat!
'Cause I came south to learn to sing and dance
And Groovy {word 'shit" BLEEPED!!} like that!
'Cause I was "Miss Baffin Island Beauty Queen" for 1974,
And I spent a whole weekend in Grease, Fjord,
With the boys beatin' down my door!!"

She came a long, long, wa-ay,
From Frobisher Bay!
People, don't you know now what I mean.
She had the boys all cryin'
On the Distant Early Warning Line,
Ole' Muk Tuk Annie could really make the scene!


3: Well, she said, "Thank-you for your trouble, Sir,
But, I'll make it on my own."
And the word spread through the North, like willdfire,
'Big Annie's' comin' home!!
She got off the plane with a record player,
Ballet slippers on her toes,
And she opened up a little, groovy Club
Where everybody comes and goes.
She got ole' Stompin' Tom on the record player,
And she serves good booze and grub.
And the folks around Baffin Island
Figure it's better than any ole' PlayBoy Club!!
You can drink tea, beer and Anti-freeze,
'Til you fall right off of your feet.
And there's Seal Flippers and potato chips when you feel like something to eat.

She came a long, long, wa-ay,
From Frobisher Bay!
People, don't you know now what I mean.
She had the boys all cryin'
On the Distant Early Warning Line,
Ole' Muk Tuk Annie could really make the scene!

4: Well, she packs that joint almost every night,
And folks come from miles around,
And every night about 10 o'clock, all the House Lights are turned wa-ay down,
And, suddenly, she's on the stage,
Wearin' that toothless grin,
Short, fat Annie, the Goddess of Love,
And she's goin' do her 'Dance of Sin'!
Well, she jumps and shouts and huffs and puffs,
And does a little 'Bump & Grind'.
And all she's wearing is them Ptarmigan feathers (Pronounced "Tar-mi-gen")
Scotch-taped to her behind!
Well, she made about $100 Grand last year,
Which wasn't too bad at all.
And decided to take a little Holiday
So she flew down to Montreal.
It seems she ran into her teacher there.
You know, the one that she met before,
And she gave him a job; tending the bar
And taking tickets at her night-club door!

She came a long, long, wa-ay,
From Frobisher Bay!
People, don't you know now what I mean.
She had the boys all cryin'
On the Distant Early Warning Line,
Ole' Muk Tuk Annie could really make the scene!
Let me tell ya, now, Muk Tuk Annie could REALLY make the scene!!
Let me tell ya, now, Muk Tuk Annie could REALLY make the scene!!

{VERY short fade out to true end.}